The other night I was watching a show where this woman had made her way out of a cult like town. The town had little to no contact with the outside world and women were property of the men. It wasn't easy for her to get out. I'm sure growing up in this environment you would question yourself, am I making the right decision?! She knew she'd be losing her family and all she knew. She had several children there, and through the years she was able to get all of them out except for her youngest son. I couldn't imagine how hard it was for her to show these children everything they knew, everything she had taught them, it was all wrong.
Her son had just got back from a camp in which all the progress she had made with him was taken back. He was telling her how he wasn't going to do the few things she was finally able to show him were ok to do. She began to cry. She felt so helpless and so heart broken.
I know that helpless feeling. When your child has been hurt everything inside you wants to take it for them. When we see them making the wrong choices or doing the wrong things it hurts us deeply. I couldn't imagine how much it hurt her to see her son pouring his thoughts and beliefs on something so wrong, something that would set him up for such a miserable life.
This got me thinking about God our father how much he loves us. There are parts in the Bible that talk about how he's a jealous and powerful God. Not that he's actually jealous when we worship these other "Gods" or put these other things before him, he jsut knows what these other things have to offer us. He loves us and wants what's best for us and what is best for us and that is HIM.
Everything he does, everything he is, comes from Love. He loves us truly and unconditionally. The best way to begin to describe his love for us is how we love our children.
Humans are pretty powerful beings, especially within our minds. The human Brain is so magnificent. The things we've been able to accomplish over the years is astounding. If you think of the cave man and then think of us having small computers at our fingertips all day, it's pretty outstanding.
Now try to think of when we are physically at our most powerful. That power comes from within our minds, like an adrenaline rush or some type of instinct. You hear of people using super human strength to lift a car off of a person in an accident or carrying 3 and 4 people out of a burning building while their own lungs should of gave out. But the Most powerful we can be is when that adrenaline or those safety instincts involve our own child or children. When our cubs are in danger no one even has to tell us, we just know. Those same instincts take over when we know someone has hurt our cubs. We find Strengh and boldness we didn't know we had, and we fight tooth and nail.
This is the same way the Lord is with us. He sees someone hurt his own he shows just how powerful he is, he shows that while he is Love & Light, he is also Fire and Judgement. Mountains bow down before him and the sound of his voice calms the sea.
Sometimes we just don't feel worthy of that love he has for us. We don't deserve anything at all and yet he blesses us with so much anyway. When I first started going to church, I wouldn't ask him for things I wanted or hoped for. I would pray for his will to be done and keep my hearts desires to myself. I just didn't feel like I was worthy to ask anything of him when he's already done so much for me.
One day at church just as I was praying, my uncle was talking about blessings. He told us about how God wants to bless us, he wants to see us happy. He said "Ask him for the things your heart desires." As a parent we want to see our children happy. We want them to tell us what they would like to have or do and we love to do it for them.
I knew God was speaking to me. He knows our everything thought, every single hair on our head. He showed me this so that I wouldn't hold back anything when I pray. This also gave me such a better understanding for the love he has for us. I truly feel like Gods Daughter. We love our children unconditionally, no matter how many mistakes they've made or how imperfect they are, they are our heart and soul. We want to see them happy and to give them all the blessings we can. That only begins to describe it, he loves much deeper than we are capable of, but it gives us an idea of how he looks at us. It helps us feel like we don't have to be worthy for him to love us. I knew I didn't have to come to him perfect, but I struggled with feeling worthy of his love for a while. I've made so many mistakes, and I mean big ones. Sometimes the same one several times. And even though he forgave me and they were in the past, it was still in my head the shame and guilt, the self critic.
Raising children isn't for everyone. It's the hardest job in the world. You do the best you can to give them a happy safe stable environment to grow and thrive. You teach them right from wrong and you pray they listen. But when they fall we don't leave them, we help them back up. When they make mistakes we don't hold that against them and keep bringing it up. We let that go and help them to do better, and we're so happy doing so. Even though it causes pain to see them go down the right path, the happiness we feel when they find their way always surpasses that pain.
So remember, You are God's child & he has the most powerful type of love for you there is. Not Perfect Just Forgiven.
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